The Lesbian Powerlifting Meet Report


Ok, you’ve waited for it, you’ve hoped for it.

Admit it, you’ve longed for it: it’s time for the lesbian powerlifting meet report.

The meet in question was the UT Longhorn Classic, a very well put on meet here at University of Texas at Austin. The lifters in question were Patty and Amalia, my lesbians. I’ve been working with them a whopping 9 weeks (they’ve been training much longer) and this meet just happened to hit about the right time. It actually wasn’t as long as I’d liked considering I had to drill proper form in them against a background of, shall we say, less than ideal form. The first month was spent on technique as my workout posts have described. Even still, and despite the results (see below), I was overall happy. They came a long way in 9 weeks and there is much more to come from them.

So on to the meet. I picked them up at about 6:30am the day of the meet. They had weighed in the day before so they’d have time to rehydrate and had no time hitting the 132 or below class. I got to their apartment early and, as I’m sure everyone expects, they were in the middle of a sweaty pillowfight (which always, leads to a sweaty makeout session). All I could do was watch and hope they didn’t waste too much energy before the meet. Sorry, no JPEGs.

Finally, we got going. Got to the meet to do equipment check, set rack and bench heights, put in first attemps and all of that shit. Competitor meeting then time for lifting. My girls were in the second flight (B) so we had some time to sit around and watch. The judging was pretty tight and things were moving along. ABout 15 minutes before the first flight was over, we warmed up.

Flight B had 8 girls to start (I say start because two bombed out after squats which had some implications for the rest of the meet), which wasn’t very many. Patty was dead in the middle of the flight, Amalia was at the top.

We opened them up with very conservative lifts, wanted to make sure they got the lift in to stay in the meet, got some confidence, all that shit. Amalia took an easy 195, Patty an easy 170. I should note that my girls wore only a belt and knee wraps, they were the only lifters not wearing a squat suit.

Both girls got white lighted. So we jumped weight, 220 for Amalia (her best lift in the gym was 225), 198 for Patty (her gym PR was 195). Both easy whites. Things were looking good.

We put in 215 for Patty’s third attempt. For Amalia the choice was between 236 and 242 (Keith had suggested 235 for a third attempt). Amalia thought she had 242 in her so we put that in.

Patty made her lift easily, setting a 20 lb PR. Amalia got stuck coming out of the bottom.

And she was PISSED. She is a very goal oriented athlete, meaning she’s focused a little much (IMO) on the end results. And she was pissed taht she didn’t make the lift. In hindsight of course, we probably should have gone 236. Amalia was mad at herself for taking the higher weight. I pointed out to her that had she made 236, she’d have been pissed that she didn’t go for it with 242. Basically, that she was going to be pissed no matter WHAT she did. She was also mad that she only made 220 at the meet after she’d made 225 in the gym (we probably sholuld have had her take 230 for a second attempt but she wanted to save it for her last attempt).

Oh well, you live and learn. I came to find out later in the day that she had set up under the bar wrong (she squats fairly high bar) with the bar sitting right on her vertebrae. Frankly, IMO, that’s why the weight didn’t go up, nobody can squat a PR with the bar digging into your spine. I attribute it to nerves, she set up under the bar wrong and got screwed. Again, you live you learn.

Then it was time to sit and watch and wait.

As squats continued, there was some crazy shit going on on the platforms. Bars were getting dropped or throw, guys were ending up on the floor. One guy approached the bar with a ton of theatrics, stepped out too quickly and lost the bar behind him when it slipped from his hands. Another guy managed to end up sprawled out face down in front of the racks with the bar behind him. I didn’t see what happened.

Perhaps the most disappointing thing we saw was this: an older woman (easily in her 60’s) who had shown up to lift. I saw her warming up and, even though her form was pretty hard to watch, at least she was there and making her lifts. I talked breifly with the guy handling her. Basically, every lift she made that day was going to be a record on account of their being no one else in her category. To which I say, good for her. She had the balls to show up and lift. Well, the long and the short of it is that she bombed out. I don’t know who picked her weights (I would assume her handler) but her opener was too high. Three missed lifts, her meet was over. It’s one thing to watch some macho dipshit bomb out because his ego is dictating his training weights. Another entirely to watch this. Anyway…

So on to the bench. Once again, Patty was smack in the middle of the flight, Amalia was second from the top. I should note that the flight was down to 6 people (and one team kept having troubles with lifters missing their first lift by not being read). This actually impacted on the results. I’ll also note that my girls benched raw (wrist wraps only), the only ones in the flight (and probably the meet to do so).

So we opened Patty with an easy 105 which she made with no problems. Amalia took 125 and made it easily. So we jumped Patty to 121, another easy lift. Amalia took 143 (her best gym lift was 145). She made the lift in my eyes but got red lighted. The side judge said that the bar wasn’t motionless or that she sank it. If that’s the case, I sure as shit didn’t see it. I suspect that she breathed out before pressing and that sank the bar. In any event, it meant she was going to take the lift again.

For Patty was jumped to 132. Her arms were wobbly taking the bar out and it got stuck coming off her chest.

We knew that Amalia had 143 in her, the failed lift wasn’t for a lack of strength but for some weird red light call. Unfortunately, the small flight size had another impact: the time between attemps just wasn’t very long. Changing weights at this level is quick and the time between attemps for 6 girls was, at most, 4-5 minutes. It’s honestly not fair when you consider that flight A had 14 lifters and nearly 12 minutes between max attemps. It does make a difference from the standpoint of nervous system recovery.

The long and the short of it was that Amalia missed her third attempt (retaking 143). I made sure she held the pause long enough (translation: it was longer than I like) and I don’t think she was recovered from the previous attempt. It got stuck 2″ off her chest. We probably should have taken 135 for a second attempt instead of the big jump but Keith (who I had consulted before hand about attemps) thought they’d get a 5% over their gym 1RM at the meet.

Tangentially (I’m hoping Keith will comment on this): They didn’t and I suspect this has to do with differences in how Keith trains and how I train people. When Keith speaks of a gym PR, I suspect he’s talking about a training 1RM. Unstimulated, all that Russki nonsense. When I gave him their 1RMs, it was really closer to a competition max, a true max effort. Considering the difference in training max and competition max (training max being lower), he and hte folks he trains probably do get 5% more at the meets. Since my girls had basically performed a competition max in the gym, they didn’t. Unfortunately, I didn’t really make this realization until bench was over.

So Patty hit 121 and Amalia only got 125. Now she was truly pissed. She had the 143 on her second attempt and I still don’t think she sunk it or didn’t pause long enough. But it was far below her best gym performance and she was angry and frustrated.

I should mention that the only girl who outbenched her (making 160 but missing 180) claims to get 60 lbs out of her Fury shirt. 60 fucking pounds. Meaning that, raw, she’s only good for 100. Meaning Amalia and Patty both could have outbenched her.

So finally on to deadlifts. Both of these girl are good at this lift (they both work at FedEx loading trucks 5 nights a week, have low back strength from hell, and a work capacity that you wouldn’t believe which I suspect contributes to their success at the DL) but I wanted to make absolutely damn sure that they finished the meet on a high point by making all three attempts. Again, they were the only girls to not use a suit (belt only). They both opened up with 220 for an easy first lift. We jumped to 242 on the second attempt (both ahd pulled an easy 245 in the gym) for the second. Again, an easy lift. For the third, I wanted to make sure they got the lift so we went with a conservative 253. 9 lbs over their best gym lift. Both got the lift easily. Amalia even shot her hips and basically SLDL’d it up and it went easily. They probably had another 10 lbs in them (if not more) but I wanted to get all three lifts in.

The strangest thing seen during DL’ing was the girl at the top of the flight. On her first two attempts she got called for hitching. And I heard her tell her coach “I can’t get the bar past my fat”. The problem was that her DL suit was so tight, it was compressing her thigh fat and she was getting the bar caught on it. Not a joke folks.

So the overall results.

Amalia: 6 out of 9 attempts made, totaled 598 lbs.

Patty: 7 out of 9 attempts made, total was 588.

Frankly, as their handler/coach I’m not disappointed. For 9 weeks worth of work, I feel that they did fine. Most of the mistakes were of a technical nature (or making poor calls on attemps) and some of it was just first meet jitters. I told them that, rather than be pissed overly about the outcome, they should use it as a learning experience. We’re going to try and find them another meet a good 3-4 months off so they can have a longer training cycle and get all of the little stuff dealt with. Probably also gear them up for the next meet as well.

And no, no naked lesbian bench pressing pics. No pics at all, frankly. I was too busy trying to wrangle both of them (my new job description: Lyle McDonald, lesbian wrangler) to take pics or anything like that.

Addendum to the original post: When we resumed training a couple of days after the meet, we found out that Amalia took second in her division, Patty third. With gear, they’d have taken first and second for sure. I see big things for these girls with more time to train and gear.